I have a confession: I screw things up. Consistently.

Sometimes I do it by trying to control a situation or person. That rarely works out. Sometimes I do it by over-thinking a problem. That makes things twice as hard—and twice as likely to fail. Often I do it by not doing anything at all—by being passive. I let the moment of action pass. And I rationalize it later. That’s definitely my go-to “fuck-it-up” move. It’s just disguised better than the others.

These are my most consistent forms of self-sabotage. And I’m not alone.

We all know people in our lives who self-sabotage on a grand scale. They let their external obstacle define them. They let their lows get too low and the highs too high. They rarely venture into their “personal unknown”. They somehow seem to attract misfortune. These people are often talented, intelligent, sometimes brilliant. Nevertheless, they are perpetually stuck.

Sound at all familiar?

They—and we—do it on a subtle scale too. Not following through on promises. Not taking care of the details. Not taking personal responsibility. I understand these behaviors because I’m guilty of doing them myself. I excel in certain aspects of my life and I struggle in others. Often, I’ll view that disparity and then intentionally widen it further. I put more time into the part I dominate. I neglect even further the part where I struggle. It’s a recipe for an imbalanced life. It leads to an underlying dissatisfaction.

Everyone has their own unique way of running from their demons. You don’t need to be anything like me to be a master at self-sabotage. You simply have to be afraid. And you have to be just smart enough to out-smart yourself.

I’ll make a promise to you. I promise to try to have less answers and have more courage.

And then, maybe, the real answers will appear.